“I’m Leslie Knope” | Episode 01, Season 04
Donna: Red alert, Swanson. Your ex-wife is back.
Ron: No kidding, Donna.
Donna: Not her. The other ex-wife.
Ron: Tammy One.
Donna: She’s in your office.
Tammy: Oh, ****!
“I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li’l Sebastian had passed. His memory will live on as today we light a fire that will burn on for eternity.”
Ben: Okay, deep breath. I think we got through it.
Leslie: Thank God. Hey, Jerry, you put propane in the eternal flame, right?
Jerry: No, they were out. So I just got a big thing of lighter fluid. It’s kind of the same thing…
Jerry: Are you mad at me? ‘Cause without eyebrows, I can’t really tell.
Tom: Jean-Ralphio just started an exclusive high-end production compagny and he’s willing to put on Lil’ Sebastian’s memorial service Pro Bono, just for the pub. Pub is an abbreviation for publicity.
Ron: Jean-Ralphio is a clown. This is the memorial for Lil’ Sebastian not double-coupon night at a strip club.
Tom: First off, double-coupon night is an incredible value. Secondly, this guy just started a business. He’s my friend. It would really help him out. Plus, I’m gonna oversee everything and make sure everything goes great.
Leslie: Okay, Tom, we trust you. Make us proud.
Ron: Make him proud.
Ben: Why don’t you just Photoshop that out?
When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half-mast I thought “All right. Another bureaucrat ate it.” But then I found out it was Lil’ Sebastian. Half-mast is too high. Show some damned respect.