“I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li’l Sebastian had passed. His memory will live on as today we light a fire that will burn on for eternity.”
Ben: Okay, deep breath. I think we got through it.
Leslie: Thank God. Hey, Jerry, you put propane in the eternal flame, right?
Jerry: No, they were out. So I just got a big thing of lighter fluid. It’s kind of the same thing…
Leslie: Ron Swanson loves his facial hair. And we burned it off. This thing that we’re doing, it’s unsustainable.
Ben: What, you want to break up?
Leslie: What? No. I like you.
Ben: Well, then… you want to tell Chris.
Leslie: What? No. I like my job.
Ben: Well, then, what do we do?
Leslie: Okay, operation shutdown. No more secret hand-holding. No more smooching in Ann’s office. In fact, when we’re at work, we just shouldn’t talk to each other at all.
Ben: Okay, well, that’s gonna be really hard and we could still get fired.
Leslie: I know but it’s worth the risk if I can be with you.
Ben: All right, well then, I’m in.
Leslie: What are you doing? Are you kidding me?
Ben: I’m sorry. No it’s force of habit.
Tom: Jean-Ralphio just started an exclusive high-end production compagny and he’s willing to put on Lil’ Sebastian’s memorial service Pro Bono, just for the pub. Pub is an abbreviation for publicity.
Ron: Jean-Ralphio is a clown. This is the memorial for Lil’ Sebastian not double-coupon night at a strip club.
Tom: First off, double-coupon night is an incredible value. Secondly, this guy just started a business. He’s my friend. It would really help him out. Plus, I’m gonna oversee everything and make sure everything goes great.
Leslie: Okay, Tom, we trust you. Make us proud.
Ron: Make him proud.
Ben: Why don’t you just Photoshop that out?
I gotta say, this is some of my best work. This could not have gone better. They are really hitting off. Thank God. Crisis averted.