Andy: I got the greatest wife in the world!
Andy: We’re married! We’re totally gonna do it later!
April: Oh, my God.
Ann: You know this is my house, right?
April: Yeah, hi.
Ann: Do you wanna come in? You okay?
April: No. Andy is totally mad at me right now and I don’t know how to deal with him so I thought I would ask you.
Ann: You know, Andy and I broke up so long ago. I don’t think that I’d be the best source to…
Ann: What happened?
April: He doesn’t think I like Mouse Rat. And all I said to him was that this other band was better but I don’t know why he got all mad because it’s like an indisputable fact that they’re better. They’re a real band.
Ann: Oh, boy. Okay. Well, Andy just wants you to be proud of him and his music so this isn’t really about being right. It’s more about being supportive.
April: Oh, wow, I didn’t realize you were a marriage counselor, Ann. Sorry. My instinct is to be mean to you.
Ann: I understand.
Andy: Do you even think that Mouse Rat is the greatest band in the world? ‘Cause it’s starting to not feel that way.
April: That band is really important to me and honestly, I’ve asked you to listen to them like, a million times and you never have, so…
Andy: ‘Cause their music is sad and drepressing and weird. And art is supposed to be happy and fun and everyone knows that. You know what? Whatever. Forget it.
Leslie: Ann, we have a serious code Ben.
Ann: Well, it’s not really code if you say his name.
Leslie: He told me that he liked me and I’m gonna go make out with him right now on his face.
Ann: That’s awesome!
Leslie: No, no, read me the script.
Ann: All right. “Leslie, it’s Leslie Knope from the Parks Department speaking to you through Ann Perkins friend and beautiful nurse.” Thank you. “Do not do anything with Ben. Be responsible, no matter how cute his mouth is. YOUR JOB IS ON THE LINE!”
Leslie: Shut up, Ann!
Ann: You wrote that.
Leslie: No, you… then Leslie, Leslie, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I care about him very much, and I’ve had 2 1/2 glasses of red wine and what that means is I’m gonna go make out with him right now and it’s gonna be awesome.
Leslie: No, you’re supposed to talk me out of this.
Ann: No, don’t, stop.
Leslie: Shut up, Ann, I’m doing it anyway.